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PLUNK GENEALOGY -- see "Family" label on this blog and/or write Mike at mdplunk@hotmail.com

Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Case of the Runaway Rodent


I wondered what I would write about today until Mike shared an anecdote with me on the way to work this morning. As I wiped away the laughter tears, I knew I had to share it.

We have an associate in the tax office this year. His name is Eric and he’s another lively Aries. Some time back, Eric bought a fixer-upper that he just loves. It has a yard full of perfect trees, tons of charm, a ghost banished to the basement, a few holes here and there, and squirrels who skitter in and out of those holes and share the walls of the house with him.

Eric likes animals a lot and recently bought a hamster for his young step-daughter who visits him frequently. He has his standards, though, and not all critters get equal access, so when a guest spotted a mouse, Eric bought traps.

On a lunch break at home this week, Eric wandered by the hamster cage to check on it. But the rodent was MIA. The bars of his little habitat looked as if they’d been pried apart. What the heck kind of hyped-up food had he been feeding him anyway! Super-hamster was on the loose.

It didn’t take long, however, to locate the runaway. Mr. Hamster hadn’t run far. Before he’d likely had much fun, he encountered a mousetrap and . . . well, Eric didn’t describe the carnage to us. He reluctantly picked up trap and corpse and went into the kitchen to get a trash bag.

As he stood there feeling guilty at the loss of his step-daughter’s pet, he almost didn’t see the dark flash that zapped out of a hole in the wall and onto his leg. But he certainly felt the squirrel attach itself to him. Completely startled and nearly unarmed, Eric did the only logical thing. He started beating at the squirrel with the dead hamster in his hand. Terrified that the probably rabid squirrel would run up his leg, he beat it soundly with the rigid rodent until the squirrel gave up and jumped to the floor. With the aid of a broom and some ice hockey moves, he finally swatted the squirrel out the back door and heaved a sigh of relief.

I think that Chevy Chase should play Eric in the movie version.