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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Two and a Half Men Minus Charlie?

Star of Two and a Hal Men sitcom Charlie Sheen seems to stay in the news for his raucous behavior, and now he’s back in rehab. Or, as they tell us, he’s in “home rehab.” CBS affirms that they’re interested in Sheen’s well being first and foremost. Well, that and all the money they make from the show.

Mike and I are fans of the adult-oriented tv show. Great writing. Top-notch acting by the entire ensemble. It’s really, really funny. Truly LOL funny. Another regular viewer of the show moaned to me recently after Sheen’s New York escapade, “What if the network terminates his contract? There would be no show without Charlie Sheen!”

I beg to differ. And I will present to you what I believe to be a perfectly plausible and entertaining way for the show to move forward sans Sheen.

First, we have to explain Charlie’s absence. A season or so ago, Sheen’s character branched out into writing and performing quirky children’s songs and became quite popular. So, we’ll say that Charlie Harper is on a world tour promoting his new album. Rose, Charlie’s stalker and a great character, can even report from time to time that she’s visited Charlie.

Alan Harper is Charlie’s brother who moved into Charlie’s beach house along with his son when his wife kicked him out about seven seasons ago. Alan’s character is played amazingly by Jon Cryer who has received at least one Emmy for Best Supporting Actor. Alan Harper could easily step into the starring role. His role has almost eclipsed Charlie’s while Sheen is still on the show.

Alan’s son Jake (the half in Two and Half) was really cute and funny seven years ago, but not so much now. Let’s write him off – maybe to the merchant marines,

But now we’re one and a half men short. That’s easy. First, MY show does what all other shows, the Bill Cosby show in particular, did whenever a cute little tyke grew up. You bring in another cute tyke. Alan went through several episodes wishing he had another child. So let’s have him adopt one. Maybe an ex-fling shows up and presents him with a five-year-old. Now there’s only a deficit of one man. And we’ve got that covered, too.

Judith, Alan’s acerbic ex-wife, married a second time to Jake’s pediatrician. To her horror, Alan and the new husband became friends, so (in my show) when Judith finally kicks out husband #2, he moves in with Alan. The funny, gawky Herb is a shoo-in for the number two spot. And there you go – another two and a half men.

The rest of the ensemble – Berta, the earthy housekeeper, and Evelyn, the plastic surgery sculpted, non-maternal mother of Alan and Charlie, plus Judith and Rose – continue doing the wonderfully funny things they do.

The show would have just as many plot options and just as funny as it is now. Everybody’s there except Charlie, and I don’t think he’d be missed. So, CBS, have at it.

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